Rest Easy, No One Is Going To Die

So much to talk about it is not even funny. I am actually afraid once I start writing I will forget.

• Stuff
• Craftiness
• Documenting a week in your life project
• Women and Disney
• Photography Project and the want for a Digital SLR
• Dirty dirty men

So I bought a magnetic white board for my room. You know most women go completely nuts over shoes or make-up or other things. I go nuts over office supplies. You probably think I am kidding. But this is a serious thing....

[Okay I don't go THAT crazy]

... So I bought a magnetic white board for myself which I have wanted for awhile now. I was standing in Target looking at the selection thinking should I get this one... but what about that one. Etc... etc... it actually took me quite awhile and then I had to make sure it was in perfect condition. Never go with me to Target, we will be there for awhile. 

 It is early. But I am still excited about Dry Erase Markers.

Also, my friend Ashley sent me a link from this site from Wanelo.com WHY IN GODS NAME DID SHE HAVE TO DO THAT!! I am hook, line, and sinker over this site. Like seriously. Stuff, shopping, and things you find online. 

 Where else are you going to find an owl tea set as cute as this? It does make me want to go to Bella Terra and paint my own owl tea set. I think I have the craft skills to pay the bills. Ha Ha.

I also want to make buttons and I still want to paint Day Of The Dead Skulls and I need to learn how to sew so I can make pin-up style clothing. [Oh the list goes on]

I did actually start the Documenting A Week Of Your Life. Which I got the idea from this site: Documenting A Week It really is a brilliant idea and I am having a lot of fun thinking outside of the box. I cannot wait to see what the end result will be. ♥

 I made this handy dandy little notebook as a mini-journal just to keep track of my ideas. By the end of one week I forget a lot of the little details [Which is why I am doing this project... To document little details.]

I still need to decorate my little journal and I will stick it into the Week Journal. A journal within a journal. Hmmm. 

So I am 100% sure I will have EXTREME mixed feelings from people about this subject and trust me I AM NOT TRYING TO JUDGE YOU. But Disney destroys little girls. Think about it.   

Think about it. As little girls we are told, "Oh you are a princess, you look so pretty, here is a kitchen set, you want to play with dolls, you want tea parties, etc..." We are raised to be dormant and to be housewives. We are raised to depend on men. We are raised thinking that one day we will find this guy like prince charming who will sweep us off our feet and we will live happily ever after. 

Uhm. No. That is not how shit works. 

It drives me absolutely freaking insane. Cause a lot of the girls who you see have had a stage [or are currently in one... or never get out of it...] where they have low self esteem, NEED A GUY to be happy, wear incredibly small outfits and act slutty [not dogging it. Do what you gotta do.] 

It's just we are taught pretty is better than being intelligent. Being passive is better than being aggressive. Being sugar and spice is the status quo. 

Excuse my language but FUCK THAT. 

If I ever have a daughter she will never be raised as a damsel in distress but I won't make her into a tom boy either. I just want a well balanced child [Girl or Boy... does not matter.] Who knows how important education is, how to stand up for themselves, who cares about other people, and appreciates the little things. So if I ever have a girl and you have her watch Cinderella I am going to punch you in the face. [♥ You have been warned ♥] 

I have noticed while blogging my thoughts are so spastic. As you can probably tell none of this is REALLY planned. I sort of just start typing. I normally don't even go back to check it... Now you are like... "Oh, that is why her spelling and grammar sucks" Yeah. Because I don't really care when I am blogging. It is like a mind dump. Thoughts and Ideas are just sort of spit out through my fingers and they just so happen to land here.

You are welcome internet. ☺

 I want a fancy camera. I want a digital SLR camera. And I think my parents [Mom and Dad] should combine their forces and buy me one for Christmas. This will never happen because they don't read my blog... well my mom might. And it is like an $800 camera [Costco has PRETTY SWEET DEALS] 

I don't think I will ever get rid of my point and shoot because it's easy and it is replaceable. Drop it drunkenly a few times and whoops time to buy a new one. This camera would be used for projects. For a portfolio I would never really use besides making my friends happy. [You want to be a model... okay lets pretend... you have kids but no family photos. Okay why not. That sort of thing]

I am really looking forward to the projects in my photography class though. We are going to have to emulate the style of a well-respected photographer which will be assigned to us. Another will be we have to pretend we are a photographer for a magazine. 

The final will be a series of 20 photographs that relate to one another via a common theme or concept that evoke strong feelings. Other students have done things like the SPCA, A Boating accident and recovery, Graffiti in SF, The Navy Ships, etc... I have to come up with an idea BY September 29th. I am trying to think of something ABSOLUTELY AWESOME but I always do this to myself where nothing seems good enough or I add too much and cannot handle the load. 

*le Sigh*

Anyways. The male race is full of surprises. I just keep having REALLY WEIRD things happen. I don't know why some people do the things they do but I definitely can't seem to understand it OR trust it. I know girls and guys are capable of EVIL deeds, but I don't want to be a part of that weird shit... my goal is to be happy and help those around me to be happy. That is all.

o_O <-- I've got my eye on you.

Things fall into place when you least expect them to

I feel awesome. Guess who has two Green thumbs and grows vegetables?

This Chick Right Here.

♥ ♥ ♥Look at them... aren't they beautiful. ♥ ♥ ♥

Everything has been going lovely lately. I am totally stoked about my classes. 

Women's AMERICAN History 

So you guys know already I have an odd sense of humor. From the ridiculous puns and sayings to redundant information. I love it and that is what exactly my teacher does. [Not so much the redundant information... this is a college course] But she is witty and I like it.

We have two papers worth 500pts two exams worth 300pts and a whole lotta mini quizzes worth 200pts. [with extra credit thrown in there occasionally] So I mean there is definitely a lot of pressure and there is a lot of reading because Lecture and reading are kept separate. 

I went in to class thinking, eh I know a little bit. Then as a quick look to see what we knew (and bring us into our topic) she asked us to write down all the famous women in American history EXCLUDING presidents wives and entertainers in three minutes. 

Some of the students were like Cha-Ching and were able to spout out quite a few. However, not I.  I came up with three names in three minutes. 

APPALLING I KNOW. 

So this class will definitely teach me something. 

I decided yesterday after class I am NOT going to take Statistics.  I would want to kill myself by the end of the semester. So I settled for taking two required classes and that would be that.

UNTIL. Okay so it went like this. Magical thread on Facebook about doing weddings started me thinking that maybe I should look into Flower arranging and Photography [We all know I ♥ Pictures!] Then today I hopped online and I was like maybe I will check for college photography classes. Turns out one of my required classes is in Arts AND there is a night Photography class at the Vacaville center which book costs $20.20 of course the class is full but I am sure I could add into it. Wouldn't that be AMAZING? Complete a requirement while learning more about Photography. SaaaaaahWeeeeeeeet.

Put all your prayer pennies in the basket that I get added.

K Thanks.

So Saturday is the start date for "Documenting a Week in Your life" I am pretty excited about that too. I already bought page protectors. 

AND get this. So I was like oh I don't have a lot of money. *Sad Panda* BUT I forgot not only do I have a check from Barnes in my purse I will have two more at the store this Friday. Pimpin ain't easy. So I am pretty excited about that.

Also last night I was able to get a lot of my stuff put away. So my room is looking more and more uncluttered as the days go by. 

Natural High

Yes, that right there is for YOU. Thanks for reading my random babble. I appreciate the audience... even if I don't know who ACTUALLY reads this stuff. 

I am feeling FANTASTIC today. Like almost a natural high. It's insane. I am in love. Not with someone else... but with myself. [Sounds so vain] But seriously. Sometimes I think I need to give myself some credit. I really really really care about people and I think I am pretty awesome. 

Another thing. I am motivated like a mad woman today. I am a young, 24-year-old woman, who has not one but two jobs, who is going to school, has the ability to vote and claim independence, I can lift heavy items, put furniture together, I can dress sexy or dress casual. I CAN WEAR JEANS! I think I am pretty funny, even if other people don't think so. I enjoy learning new things and I look forward to what life has to offer.

Needless to say, I am wonderful. 

Okay that is pretty intense. Tootin my own horn a bit. But you know what. I think I deserve it. 

I really am looking forward to school this semester. I am pretty sure I am only going to take Geology online and Women's History. No more of this "If I pass with a C I am still in the green" crap. I am going to ACE both classes I can take Stats next semester and I will be okay. I think right now I need to focus on the important things.

Another thing I have been thinking about [Which is not an agreement with myself yet] but I think I am going to tone down on the partying. I mean I haven't been SUPER crazy lately. But I think I need to give my liver a break. This weekend I will drink at the BBQ but I will not go out to a bar. Being drunk can be entertaining but I am honestly starting to realize it is a waste of time doing it Every.Single.Weekend. I have things I need to take care of. I also need to spend more time at home.

It is only August 17th and I have two more weeks until payday... but you know what. Basically that ENTIRE MONTH PAYCHECK is going to get rid of the debt that went into collections. I am going to tell them I will pay in full if they clear it from all three credit bureaus.So I will suffer for the month of September. But you know what. I have played a lot this month, and the many months before. If I have no money I have to stay home and if I have to stay home I will do my homework. [Genuis]

My garden is growing off the hook. The squash just keep popping up. It is amazing how it works. They always said Taurus' are green thumbs... I didn't believe them. But from now on I think I will forever have a vegetable garden. 

Do you see this insanity?

Well I should go do something important. Remember to tell yourself something awesome about yourself. You know why? Because I am awesome and I think you are awesome. ;)

I love the UK without ever physically being there

 

Do you see this people? I almost died. It is a free standing kitchen. Mini fridge down below area for a sink, plenty of storage, and a mircowave. It costs £4550 and when converted into US Dollars it is $6513.78. However, I am in love and price is just a number in this case because I can't have it. 

www.culshawbell.co.uk/completekitchenette.html

Just one of the many reasons I love the UK.

Oh and I just learned some really random London History. The Forty Elephants was an all-female gang of London criminals who specialized in Shoplifting. This gang was notable for its longevity and skill in avoiding police detection. They were in existence from at least 1873 to the 1950s, I don't support thievery but an all female gang... uhm awesome! There is a book about it. And I want to read it.

[ Not related... check out this site about different Female Badasses www.themarysue.com/8-real-women-who-deserve-their-own-movies/]

ANNNNNNNNNNNND I love Misfits. AND I LOVE European music. <3 That is all.

Every Ounce Will Destroy You

I think hardcore Blog titles should be followed by fluffy adorable animals. Yay Panda Cub.
*I love you and I wish I had bigger pockets so I could fit you in there with kittens*

So yesterday there was a thread on Facebook talking about sex and the male and female standpoint. I kept my comments to a minimum but that is one topic I enjoy talking about. No. I am not saying "Talk dirty to me" but more on the informative/educational level. 

I think it is a topic that is so taboo that instead of being able to speak openly about our wants and needs we are kept in this awkward stage of insecurities and uncomfortable moments. 

A majority of men learn about sex from porn and/or friends. Normally their friends are un-educated about it and learned it from a sibling and/or porn. Especially in this day and age. "Are you 18-years-old?" "Yes, why there is a free site for you" Dun dun duun. Of course any 13-year-old would agree to being 18 or older. 

Now I am not saying I am against porn. A lot of women FREAK OUT about it and a majority of the feminist movement LOATHES it. However, I see it as "Hey, why not? Do what you gotta do" 

Women do it just as often as men where silence is often chosen over expressing oneself. I mean there is so much negative gossip about sex that it just amazes me. If you don't like it don't do it... and if you do like it... say it. 

Once upon a time I was almost TOO open about things. But I have learned to tone things down to what I feel is a healthy medium. 

Megan's Rundown 

•  Two condoms DO NOT IN ANYWAY SHAPE OR FORM MEAN DOUBLE PROTECTION. If I see that one more time I swear I am going on a campaign. 
• As a fetus we start out at "Females" and the Y chromosome changes the fetus into a male. So a female clitoris turns into a penis, ovaries into testis,  Labia Majora into the scrotum, etc...
• Communication is important.
• One night stands are not as terrible as people think they are.
• DO NOT EXPECT A RELATIONSHIP JUST BECAUSE YOU SLEPT TOGETHER
• If you are going to sleep around with other people while in a relationship... YOU WILL INEVITABLY HURT SOMEONE.
• Honesty is the best policy whatever your situation is, what your intentions are, and where you see yourself the next day.
• Women & Men have the possibility of getting hurt if you do a "Dine & Dash" don't do it unless it is an expected thing. 
• Anything you feel the opposite sex has probably felt the same way.
•  Some women like long sack sessions while others do not, don't put too much pressure on yourself
• If you feel the need to last...
• Think about other things, sports, kittens, etc...
  
• Change positions
• Masturbate before hand. (wasn't that on Something About Mary)
• Worst case scenario, look into a prescription. Why not? Sometimes other factors come into play stress, weight, stamina, blood flow... you name it. Sometimes it is easier to medicate for the time being. 

Blah blah blah. Okay I am done. I am jumping into too many categories to count. All in all when you love someone and can combine everything into one.. you have passion. Passion makes everything better. [Well in my opinion anyways.]




NEXT TOPIC.


So Saturday night was amazingly fun [Except for a few minor bumps in the road] but watching the Predator Vs. Pray thing at a bar made me even more disgusted in the dating scene. Like REALLY? Jesus. I look back and see all the times I was either or. I have not been in that stage for a very long time and I never plan to return to it. 


So I signed up for a glass fusing class in Sac. I am pretty excited about it. I am not sure how the process works but I figure I might as well learn how to do it. 

This year I have learned how to plant a garden and decorate cakes. I will be learning how to make my own sushi soon and do glass fusing. I also need to learn how to play the guitar, administer CPR (again), and horseback ride. I would like to learn how to sew, how to safely carry and shoot a gun, and that is just the beginning... Watch out world. Dun Dun dun daaaaa. 


Well, I guess what else do you say in a blog such as this.

Complaining about the red lights.

“He was a major part of your life; of course you’ll miss him; it’s perfectly normal. It’s like getting a tooth pulled out; after the dentist pulls it, you’re relieved. But how many times do you run your tongue over the spot where it once was ? Probably a hundred times a day.just because it was hurting you, doesn’t mean you don’t notice it. It leaves a gap, and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It’s going to take a while, but it always takes some time. Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you pain. Pulling the tooth was the right decision, but it’s still going to hurt.”

I found that on StumbleUpon.com

I think with all the wedding talk and baby bumps and status updates it is starting to eat at my soul a little bit. I guess I just planned things to go differently. I think everyone plans things to go differently at some point or another. Everyone has expectations. Everyone has ideas of what their life should be like or how they want it to go.

I just thought I would be engaged... buying a house... planning on babies. And I think everyone who is in my position would secretly be upset. Writing blogs about how they always thought... [Okay probably not so much that... but hey you never know]

I just put all my pennies in the wrong piggy bank is all. While planning for a family life I should have been focused on my life.

Last night I was thinking. Everyone goes through something, sometimes those things seem identical. "Oh I understand you pain" or "I've been there before" However, it is never the same and the thoughts are never EXACTLY the same. Everyone is different. A snowflake is a snowflake but none of them are the same.

My thoughts about things may be in line with yours but we do not think the same. I have different life experiences and when those life experiences are added up including people I have met and things I have done. We are nothing a like. You are you and I am me. End of story.

What a sad little thought.

I am not sad though. Well maybe a little. It is just changing positions in life seems to be difficult. I am actually quite happy considering. I mean I have so many friends that are like "Megan, come do this" or "Hey you can go with me here" So that is pretty sweet. And I have my own room again which this time I am more prepared for. I have the ideas of what I need my space to look like. The idea that the small space I need to make my own will come together to be a place of peace.

I am looking into making my own earring frame. I also intend to buy this desk.

Granted my space will look much cooler but you get the general idea. I also want to buy a magnetic white board. I may not have a fridge but that does not mean I need to go without my darn Magnets. 

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there." - Bob Marley

I am not even interested in dating right now... not even going on one date. Besides my male friends... the thought of men actually sort of disgusts me. Not saying I am going to jump into the pool of lesbians... because I am sure they would accept me with open arms. I just am not interested in anything. I don't want anyone to even get close. Instead of making a earring cage I should make a wooden baseball bat with nails.

Even people hitting on me is pretty disgusting. I guess it is all just too soon. I shouldn't think about it. 

What I should be thinking about is going to a Vegan spot in Davis with Connie and her roommate tonight, going to SF to stay with Natalie tomorrow, The Cabin on Saturday, Softball next Tuesday, College starting on Wednesday, the Ladies Only BBQ, and going to the Pinterest Meet-up in Berkeley. 

I have ish to do. I have places to be. Eff what you think... I am about to do me.

[Thug life. LOL]

I need to start this journal idea I found. I have a few people interested and I think it will be entertaining to say the least.

Day In The Life

Yesterday was a pretty random day. Monday's are never much fun. 

But I cooked dinner... And while cooking dinner I ate a cupcake. 

I figured if I was going to destroy the tomato sauce concoction I was making I might as well enjoy it. So I had a beer too...

It was a very vain kind of day for me. I took more pictures of myself than ever before [Without being intoxicated] 

I dropped my camera on Pride weekend and it started acting funny. Then it died. I've tried many things to get it working again but to no prevail. So what did I do...

I bought a new snazzier camera. 10.1 Mega Pixels? Psh... I am now packin 16.1. 3x Zoom? Whateva I know have 5x zoom.Watch out world... I am about to be your paparazzi.

The ladies who did my dad & Angie's wedding shoot are planning a Mini shoot. So I was thinking about heading out to Chico for that get a couple friends to come with and make a night of it... I heard Chico has pretty awesome parties. LOL. Plus the more girls that go the cheaper the room would be. So it would be a cool little get away. 

Yeah so that is all for today. 

Do the chicken dance while walking across fire.

What an eventful past week I have had. 

Hmph.

 I don't really have anything important to talk about. At least that is what I am thinking now... yet that changes normally once I start tapping away at the keyboard. 

I do not. Under any circumstances. Want to talk about what happened. [Notice the periods. Seriousness right there]

I need to re-arrange my room at my dad's. I have accumulated things... almost to the point of hoarding. Why do I need ticket stubs to movies that I don't even remember going to from 2004? I guess I always figured I would continue working on my scrapbook but I am so back logged with things to scrapbook I don't even know where to start. Plus... I am notorious for starting something hating it and in the end throwing it away.

Plan of execution:

• Move all exsisting things in the closet to one side.
• Move dresser into the closet
• Get a desk for my computer
• Sell my Tv (I can watch movies on a different tv or even my computer)
• Throw away everything I can bare to part with 
• Box everything I do not use but cannot bare to part with
• Stack said boxes neatly in the shed. 
• Hang my beautiful painting above my bed. 
• Feel at peace. 

Yeah. That's about it. 

I can't wait until I have my own house and am able to construct my own backyard garden. 

My garden at work is definitely on it's way. But although I bought the plants... it does not feel as much mine as I would like it to. I want a LARGE garden where I can walk outside when home and there it is... plus, If I ever leave this job... what happens to my garden? Someone else takes it over and it is no longer mine. I don't like that thought. 

What would happen to my baby straighneck squash? Oh I can't bare to think about it. 

School starts back up next week. I am enrolled in a Statistics class even though I failed my Intermediate algebra (I don't have the confirmation... but I am pretty sure I finished the class with a D) I am taking Geology online and I am going to attempt to get into Women's History. I REALLY hope I get into Women's History. It will fulfill multiple requirements plus I think it would be pretty freaking sweet to know more. I love taking classes I am actually interested in. AND HOPEFULLY the Geology class has not changed it's book in over a year... because I still have a copy of it.