It's Much More Complicated Than YOU Think

Looking at Stat's of my blog. Since my first on 4/21/11 I have had 607 reads on my 31 different posts [impressive considering] My most popular blog was "Rest Easy, No one is going to die" with a total of 47 reads. My average hits on each post is about 14 reads. <3 I must say. Thank you to those of you who read this babble.

So much has been on my mind lately. 

I was driving to work this morning thinking about the human brain. [Weird thing to think about at 8o'clock in the morning but whatever.] How do human's have such complex thoughts? Although most take it as an insult I think I am fairly simple minded. I do not like to think about extraterrestrial beings, I do not like to think about the earths core, I do not like to think about how we figured out there is something that moves faster than light that was recently discovered. I guess people are supposed to be curious creatures and as "dumb blonde" as this may sound... the thought of those things make my brain hurt. People go to school and learn which makes sense but it's all the details that screw me up. Like there are things SO small we cannot see them unless we use an extremely powerful microscope and these things make up everything. Writing about this subject I am sure many of you are shaking your heads at me but everything is so much more complex.

When you are a kid a rock is a rock, your thoughts are just thoughts, the stars are pretty and small little lights, you eat food because you are hungry, and you use your imagination to keep yourself entertained. I mean you have religion which is a whole other entity of confusion... kids just believe what their parents believe. [I just remember my nephew Brandon coming up to me when he was younger, "Aunt Megan, are you going to hell? I don't want you to go to hell." I told him I was because my sister is a turd and told him I don't believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins. I guess not the nicest thing to tell a 6 or 7 year-old but he knew I did not believe in the Christian religion and those who do not believe in Jesus go to hell... right? right? I could have lied and said that I will because I do... but I don't and I don't think lying to him would have been beneficial. However, I did go along with the going to hell part... why? Because. If I were to say "No I am not going to hell because it doesn't exist." How confused would he be?]

Everything is always just so complicated... that brings me to the next complicated issue of...

Relationships [Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuun]

As if you thought chemical compounds were complicated... relationships give it a run for it's money.

I talk about relationships a lot because I am struggling with thoughts about it daily. When do you know it is worth the fight and when should you jump ship? When do you put in full trust and when do you question what is going on? Why do relationships always remind me of a teeter-totter? How can you love someone so much and yet you still hurt them? Why does the flame start to flicker and occasionally go out? Why can't sex be exciting all the time? Why does the libido drop after things get stale? Why must people attempt to interfere? Why is the "other person" to blame when someone cheats instead of the person who cheated [Why yes I am mad at you but I am going to beat that bitch up!!!]? Why do people cheat on each other after being married for the majority of their lives? How do you know that you are ready to get married? When do you know you are ready to have children? Why do people hit their spouses? How do we as people not realize the power shift? How do people get trapped in a relationship where they are unhappy? When did we lose our sense of community? How will my life turn out?

The questions go on for days. Although my questions do not always relate to me some of them do. Most of the time however I look at other people and their experiences and panic that somehow things will turn out like that... just as other people have probably done with me.

Less complicated scenario:

The couple works to make money and works together to be happy. Although they argue it never get's out of hand or turns violent, they are able to communicate openly and honestly. They do things together because they enjoy each others company. They have inside jokes and their favorite songs. They keep the romance alive without money involved. They spend time away from each other and have time with friends away from the children. They have family and friends to help with the children. When they are away they can enjoy themselves. They may look at other people with interest but never to pursue. They have plans and goals and work together to achieve them. They may not be interested in each others personal hobbies like sports or knitting but they appreciate their loves interest in the subject and support them. When things go bad in life they are their for each other to support and help each other through. When they think about happiness they think about being with that person. [I guess a little cliche]

Real life:

Too many variations to things that go wrong.

[You like how the less complicated scenario has a higher word count... I crack myself up.]

Basically. No one wants to be a sucker. So we all put up guards and defense systems only to ruin something that could be good... or we are SO gullible we just don't believe anything could be wrong while everyone watches us with pity but never says anything because all the words would go unheard.

I wish I could say this was from a guy... nope, my little sister made me lunch. LOL

This weekend I went to the Folsom street fair in San Francisco and took pictures. [I won't share them here...] Basically it is a bondage festival. I am not into that sort of thing but it's always cool to see how other people are. So me and my two friends are making our way through the heavily packed half naked crowd trying to get to our destination and it just made me think about what I want. The lifestyle of partying, drugs, and alcohol is so not interesting to me. Honestly I just want to go to a party that has wine in glasses not red plastic cups. The scene of insanity is interesting but not appealing to me personally. I want a family oriented kind of life.