This thing we call Life.

When I was younger, I always thought to myself "I'm not getting married and having babies, I am going to work buy my own house, have nice things, and just live my life to the fullest while my sister's have kids" 

That mentality has changed into an opposite obsessive compulsive behavior. Every single day, I think about getting married. It's like what started as a tiny seed has turned into a 1,000 year old willow covering every aspect of my life. It's practically a disease I live with now that has one cure that will not be given to me! (okay that is a little extreme, so what! I feel like a little dramatics are okay.) 

Me Vs. Him

Me:

1. We've been together for basically a total of 6 years. (known each other for 7)
2. We both know we want to spend the rest of our lives together
3. We have money plans that support one another
4. We've worked past the many issues that arise in a relationship prior to children (we will cross the children problems when we get there!) 

Him:

1.  He wants to be financially stable - Not working in fast food
2. Weddings are expensive
3. He wants to not have roommates
4. He wants to own a home first

I understand where he is coming from completely. I would like to have the things he wants also. However, if we were to be engaged it takes about a year to two years to set up everything. So we would have time to save up. Also, I don't need a new ring... I have a ring that I have had for a few years that he bought me and he has a ring I bought for him. A wedding dress would cost around $600 after tax. I know multiple DJ's, I know bartenders, I know cake makers, I know invitation makers, etc.. etc.. So the costs would be cut down immensely. I found a spot in Vacaville that looks amazing "Mission On The Hill" 

I already know the color scheme and the wedding favors, I am prepared to do a lot of things by myself instead of hiring out. Also, I know my girl friends would be down to do some repetitive crafting too! 


I've been thinking WHY AM I SO OBSESSED? And I think it is more of my time line. I want to be married for about 2 years before having babies.


24 years old right now + 1.5year of an engagement + 2 years of marriage = 27.5 years old to start having babies. If I want more than 3 I would need to start then to make sure my ovaries still work. 

Last night we actually had a conversation that was positive. I was able to tell him I understand why we are waiting and he explained his very rough outline of how he wants to do things. He wants to have kids when he is around 28-years-old.  The only thing about that... This year he is turning 26. That means he wants to have children when I am 26. Which sort of screws up the timeline I imagine. 


My Time Table
2011 - Pay Off Debt, Go Back to School
2012 - Graduate with AA, Start looking for houses, Buy House, Continue with school.
2013 - Get Married
2014 - Continue paying on house 
2015 - Have Babies.  

 Supposedly Chris' Time Table 
2011 - Find New Better Paying Job
2012 - Buy House
2013 - Have babies


I mean. I am guessing that is his plan. We have not discussed it in detail all too much. I know when he wants to have kids he does not want roommates. However, I want roommates to help pay off the house.  

We still should probably go over this list together ... 20 things to do before getting married.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

1. Be in agreement on whether or not to have kids.
2. Be in agreement on what religion — if any — you’ll raise your kids in.
3. Figure out how you’re going to pay for a wedding or elopement.
4. Have a 9-month emergency fund post-wedding.
5. Decide whether or not to open a joint account and what that account will be used for.
6. Decide where to go for a honeymoon and how to pay for it.
7. Register for gifts. No, seriously, your loved ones/wedding guests really, really want you to register.
8. Decide what you’ll do with monetary wedding gifts (see #4 and #6 for ideas).
9. Get to know each other’s family and friends as well as possible.
10. Date for at least four seasons.
11. Live in the same city for at least six months.
12. Discuss long, long-term goals and plans, like where you might like to retire one day.
13. Discuss — and be OK with — where you both stand on name-changing.
14. Establish “house rules,” including division of labor, whether or not you’ll allow smoking, how long out-of-town visitors are welcome to stay, and hours of the day you both need “quiet time.”
15. Be absolutely positive you’re each other’s “type,” if ya know what I mean.
16. Share medical history with each other.
17. Set some financial goals (i.e., pay off debt, save enough for a house, a vacation, a child, a child’s college tuition).
18. Set a budget and decide how much each will contribute to household expenses/who will pay for what.
19. Discuss family visitation expectations (how often you plan to visit or host one another’s families).
20. Decide whose health insurance to stick with (and if neither of you gets it through work, sign up for a private plan).

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Also, Chris mentioned last night that he knows I want a dog and he does too, he wants a Yorkie like his deceased dog Sam. He just remembers in the last years of Sam's life he was all alone a majority of the time. Which definitely is a sad thing. HOWEVER. This is a different time. Usually someone is home now. We are not living in two separate households. He is also worried about the dog getting out. Yes, I could see that being a problem with a Yorkie. But I don't want a mini dog. I told him he can have his Yorkie but I am going to have my own dog.

And yes. When the baby time comes along, I will decorate their rooms with Panda's. They will be my little panda's Black, White, and Asian. (^_^) Depending on how well the whole situation is going I would like to have anywhere from 2 - 4. But that is also something that needs to be discussed.