And you wonder why I am stressed

Personality Quizzes

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 PersonalDNA
You are an Analyst

Your attention to detail, confidence, sense of order, and focus on functionality combine to make you an ANALYST.

You are very curious about how things work, delving into the mechanics behind things.

Along those lines, how well something works is usually more important to you than what it looks like.

You find beauty and wonder mainly in concrete, functional, earthly things.

You are very aware of your own abilities, and you believe that you will find the best way of doing things.

Accordingly, problems do not intimidate you, as you believe in yourself.

You trust yourself to find solutions within the boundaries of your knowledge.

You don't spend a lot of time imagining how things could be different—you're well-grounded in the here-and-now.

It is important for you to follow a routine, and you prefer the familiar to the unknown.

Your independent streak allows you to make decisions efficiently and to trust your instincts

You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.

Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

If you want to be different:

Try to embrace the imaginative, creative part of your personality more often.

Try moving beyond the things that you find comfortable—open yourself up to a broader range of experiences.

how you relate to others

You are Benevolent

You are a great person to interact with—understanding, giving, and trusting—in a word, BENEVOLENT

You don't mind being in social situations, as you feel comfortable enough with people to be yourself.

Your caring nature goes beyond a basic concern: you take the time to understand the nuances of people's situations before passing any sort of judgment.

You're a good listener, and even better at offering advice.

You're concerned with others at both an individual and societal level—you sympathize with the plights of troubled groups, and you can care about people you've never met.

Considering many different perspectives is something at which you excel, and you appreciate that quality in others.

Other people's feelings are important to you, and you're good at mediating disputes.

Because of your understanding and patience, you tend to bring out the best in people.

If you want to be different:

You spend a lot of time taking care of others, but don't forget to take care of yourself!
Sometimes you can get overcommitted, and when you sacrifice spending time with those close to you, it can make them feel unimportant.

They Say I'm A Blogger But I Am Not The Only One.

My mood has definitely evolved in the past week. 

I lost control last Friday which is:

1. Extremely embarrassing
2. Extremely Stupid and
3. Caused Extreme aftermath anxiety. 

 My losing control of emotions is probably different than your losing control of emotions. I definitely thought I had things under control but without the nicotine patch on... minor details added up into a big problem... then I exploded.

Think of it as a bomb sitting on the side of a cliff. One thing... such as the wind can knock it off and within moments the bomb hits the bottom and explodes into a fiery chaos consuming anything and everything in it's path. 

The sad thing is... while trying to control myself it makes me feel even more out of control! Battling people is one thing... battling yourself is totally different. 

I know where my mistakes were. I know what I should have done differently. (involving alcohol... was probably the worst idea... especially because I knew I was unhappy) and most importantly not dealing with things as they come up.

It was ridiculous... I have even been told NOT TO PUT ROCKS IN THE BAG because when the "bag" is full I swing back and hit whoever is closest. I hulk out.


Bad Megan.


Anyways. I guess my constant Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy attitude backfires. I just cannot handle certain stressors in a positive way. I loathe confrontation. I am an all in or all out type. I think it plays back to my control issues. If I say how I feel and the response is confrontational I will either back out completely or immediately respond with defensiveness. So I usually choose the prior to evade heated arguments (i.e. The Toilet Seat battle, which has thankfully been controlled since their is another female involved)


So if I just don't say anything I cannot get mad because the other person is ignorant to the way I feel I just get to simmer. There is no disrespect and no arguments. HOWEVER. Once the topic is brought up. THEN there is a possible fan to the fire.  


An embarrassing example:


I received knives for my birthday. They are not $100 knives, but they are nice knives and they cut WAY better than the knives we were using. So I ask the household, "Don't leave the knives in the sink or dirty... I don't want them to get ruined." 

Honestly I hate dirty dishes but I don't really mention it because I would rather avoid an argument or hostility and being ignored anyways. More to the point. Dishes washed or not, I just wanted my knives OUT OF THE SINK. Period. Even if everything else was left behind in a disgusting pile, I 100% did not want my knives to get ruined. 


So mentioning this. It is now something I must enforce. It has become a respect issue. No one else see's it as a respect thing. I am sure no one intentionally goes "Muhahahahaha, I am going to leave the knives in the sink to make Megan feel disrespected." It is just lazy/forgetfulness. That is all. Nothing more nothing less. Simple.


Yet, when I SEE the knives in the sink or outside or on the counter it is like a slap to the face. 

Poor unsuspecting Chris had cooked with Marvin... did this huge BBQ wonderful food and during clean up forgot a knife outside. It was not intentional, it was merely an overlooked item. YET. I freaked out and not only did I look like an asshole because of bad timing but I also was extremely rude to Chris. Which then in turn made me feel terrible. So then I was ashamed, disappointed, sad, disrespected, angry, emotional etc... all because I had asked for the knives to be put away. If I had NEVER mentioned those knives I would not have had to deal with remorse or anything else. I could have just carried on cleaning the knives as I found them left out or submerged in water over-night and I could have just felt irritation instead of a load of unhappiness from all different directions.


Freaking CRAZY right?! I mean. Who does that?! Anyways. Chris and I finally discussed it. I apologized for being a jerk and he apologized for not realizing the intensity of the knife situation and for forgetting it outside. He also said that if it was THAT big of a problem... that I should put the knives away  until a later time in life.


The knives cannot be put away now though. If I put them away it's like accepting defeat. The knives now carry a stigma. The knives represent the respect I demand. I don't ask for much (or at least I don't think I do.)


SO. There was a lot more than the knife situation going on,  besides the obvious like piling on things too high to where it is difficult to handle but that's all I am going to share.


Next topic

I am contemplating joining "WARRIOR DASH" I know I am not in good enough shape for it now but it isn't until October 29th-30th. So I need to definitely start running. I need to get AT LEAST to the point where I can jog 3.5miles without falling over dead.


Also, I now have a determination to be crafty. I need to set up things to make... and do something at least once a month. I really enjoy learning new things... I just need the motivation to do it. So my motivation is to be happy. 

I think I want to learn more about Day Of The Dead. I know it is this huge played out main-stream abused thing. But once I found these skull cake-toppers I was intrigued.

The Day of the Dead celebrations in Mexico can be traced back to the indigenous cultures. Rituals celebrating the deaths of ancestors have been observed by these civilizations perhaps for as long as 2,500–3,000 years. In the pre-Hispanic era, it was common to keep skulls as trophies and display them during the rituals to symbolize death and rebirth.

In most regions of Mexico, November 1 honors children and infants, whereas deceased adults are honored on November 2. This is indicated by generally referring to November 1 mainly as Día de los Inocentes ("Day of the Innocents") but also as Día de los Angelitos ("Day of the Little Angels") and November 2 as Día de los Muertos or Día de los Difuntos ("Day of the Dead").

I may not be Mexican but I think celebrating the life of those lost is a genuine concept. "Remember not my fight for breath. Remember not the strife. Please do not dwell upon my death, But celebrate my life."

So the topic of art became the topic of death. Interesting. 

Back to Art. As I was saying I would like to be more involved with Art. I like crafty things, I always have... I used to admire my mom for her crafting abilities. Recently I made Miss Natalie Victorio a do-it-herself Journal. I just made the concept and she get's to make it her own. I enjoyed making it so much that I may make myself one. Maybe I could publish a gift book idea... where it is a fill in the blank fill in the blank. 

Maybe I will make myself one. I enjoy drawing but can never just sit down and draw or write. I have to have a guideline. (weird). I should find the other fill in books I own and compile them into a GIANT DO IT YOURSELF BOOK. 

Well I am done writing for now.

If you're HAPPY and you know it WRITE A BLOG.

Right now, At this very moment... I feel high on endorphins. It's almost like a crazy feeling. I just want to hug people and laugh and be jolly. I want to go jogging. I want to dance around and be creative. All the wants are not something I yearn for thinking I cannot have them... they are just happy thoughts.


No I did not take anything this morning. Well, I did drink a small cup of coffee but I don't believe it's from the coffee partially because I spilled some of the small cup on my shirt. 

Life throws some wicked curve balls. However sitting here, I just can't help but be happy.

Happy Thought Numero Uno.
My dad's ex girlfriend adopted a little 7 year old girl. We were chatting about it earlier this morning. She is happy and the little girl is happy. So happy that you could feel her happiness through the typed words. She deserves it.


Happy Thought #2
Chris is home from Las Vegas. I went to bed before he got home but really was glad I got to wake up to see him this morning. Of course... he was still sleeping but it was just a really good feeling. I feel a little bit complete that he was able to go to Vegas without me and I was able to encourage it and not feel bad that he was gone. Yes, I missed him. But it made me realize that our relationship is much stronger than it was in the past. I know what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and of course there is curiosity... but I am not in a I MUST KNOW type mode. So I am proud of myself. Pat on the back Meggo! 

Happy Thought The Third
I am on my 6th day of not smoking. I know I keep writing about it... I know people care but I am sure they don' want to see my million posts about it. But I am really really really REALLY happy about it. I think this time is the time. I feel better already. I am starting to notice little changes, so it is definitely worth the investment of nicotine patches. 

Happy Thought IV
I love the condo. I can't wait to move out of it, yes. But for now I think it suits me just fine. Plus, it is the first time I have been able to make adjustments and make an area more livable. 

Happy Thought Number Five
Many of my friends are planning on getting married. I am happy for them, I am happy to be able to share that experience with them. Even though I may not be a part of it, I am just happy that my friends are happy. 

[I know I am abusing the word happy. Don't hate.]

Happy Thought #6
I start school in a week. I am so incredibly motivated this year. I am working hard, I am improving my life, I am doing what I need to do. Yes, I may be a bit late... but next year I will get my AA. Everything has its own pace. Sometimes when you least expect it you finally realize where you need to be. I know where I am, who I am, and what I am doing. (however, I have NO IDEA what I am going to do after I get my AA but like I said... at it's own pace)

Yeah, so there are some of the reasons I am happy.

 This month is just so jammed pack with stuff, it is pretty intense. However, I look forward to the moments I am going to spend with close family, far family, In-Law type family, New friends, old friends, and the love of my life. <3

Old post. But I figured I would post it now. Why not.

My Dream Last Night:
Basically my current job was the Auto Auction I worked at when I was 18. There were HELLUV people in the parking lot walking around but there were no cars. My old boss comes up to me and says "here drink this" it's one of those costco size bottles of jack daniels. So I take it and drink it. While wandering around I decide I want to buy a car so I stand in line at a checkout line but it looks similar to a DMV counter. The lady next to me (who is my co-worker at Barnes) is as drunk as I am and ends up knocking over my bottle of what was then Vodka. The checkout lady starts yelling at us in Chinese so we start laughing and run away. Then we were in an alley way that looked like a flea market. I asked this pregnant girl where she was sleeping and she said right there (and pointed to a carved out whole in the wall) then she informed me her brother would be staying in a place similar two blocks away.

All last night I remember waking up to really weird random dreams. They were not good dreams but they weren't bad. Just weird. 
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This is day 2 of not smoking, well the beginning of it at least. I had a few intense cravings... normally it is after I eat a heavier meal. So I will just have to take it easy on the foodage.
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I am so beyond bored.

Mandarin Oranges and Tea

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June 1st is my quit date. Clear and Concise, I will know when I quit and how long I have quit for. It won't happen overnight, I have to fight tooth and nail for this. I started smoking at 13, it was light back then because I had to find cigarettes. It gradually got more intense from one pack a day, to two packs a day, and I just recently was at one pack a day. That's give or take a few months 11 years. 

The Reasons To Quit:

1. It's gross
2. My teeth are so bad from it
3. It's unhealthy
4. My clothes stink because of it
5. My car windows are difficult to clean
6. It messes with the reproductive system
7. My family is known for lung cancer
8. Children of smoker parents, are more likely to smoke
9. It will save me a LOT of money
10. I won't have to worry about second hand smoke
11. I won't feel bad when I am around my nieces and nephews
12. I won't have to fight the weather 
13. To do physical activity w/o thinking I am going to die
14. I won't have to deal with withdrawals from not smoking (after this)
15. I will be able to hang out with my dad more

I wrote a huge list of things that smoking effects, but these are the things I think about most. So I bid adieu to my dearest cigarettes.  This is the last time I am going to quit... because I am not going to start again. 


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So I had no idea what to call this little blog of mine, currently I am drinking tea and... you guess it eating Mandarin Orange slices. Random things appeal to me so maybe they will appeal to you. 


I don't have much to talk about but I feel like typing. So you technically don't have to read any further because the random babble is about to start. 
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Chris is going to Vegas. We won't get to see each other very much because he is working 10 hour evening shifts and I work during the day. The one day he works the early shift is the night I picked up a shift at Barnes. Lovely. So I won't really see him until he gets back Sunday night. But I think this will be good. This weekend I am going to buy a washer/dryer set, set that up. Put unneeded things in the shed. Give away the bag-less lawn mower and maybe even the mini fridge. I also am taking my Nieces and Nephew out. To where I do not know, I just have been praying the weather clears up. 
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 So during the summer I am taking Math 104 - Intermediate Algebra... Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I am going to dive in head first. Interruptions be wary because I will judo chop you in the throat. 

Which I just realized it starts June 13th. *crickets chirping*


HOLY HELL THAT IS IN A WEEK AND A HALF!!!

This is a giant fail on my part. What did I think? Summer started in July? So this class starts June 13th and continues until August 3rd. Good bye summer.

Eh, it is really no big deal. I work all day anyways. Plus I will have the weekends free to run free in the fields of sunflowers. Or even better yet... Frolic. (I love that word)


So besides my Intermediate Algebra class that I am taking... I have been trying to figure out my Fall schedule. 


Basically I signed up for Online Geology and Statistics on Monday & Wednesdays. HOWEVER, I talked to a counselor and I figured out which other classes I need. So I need a woman's history class to fulfill quite a few aspects in order to graduate. Simple enough right? Well not so simple. It's on Wednesday nights. So now I have to attempt to add into a different statistics class on Tuesday & Thursday nights to have my Women's History on Wednesday nights. I also need one more class to be full time which is a pain because I work during peak school hours and I am quite limited on selection. 

Uhm, guess what I just found out? I qualify for the  board of governors fee waiver which means I DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR SCHOOL!! Oh I am so happy I could dance around the office. 
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Chris, Joey, Rosario, and myself went to see Bridesmaid on Monday. It was definitely a chick flick. However, it made me a little envious. Like I want a friend where it is like that. I have some awesome friends... but we are definitely not close like they were. I rarely talk to them, I mean I know it is my fault... but I am not going to take the complete fall for it.
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I need to get my hair cut. It's splitting at the ends. Like not little cute splits... but like 2 inches breaking off. So I need to do that, and for the wedding I am getting a manicure and pedicure. I will feel so girly. ___________________________________________________________

Oh yeah. The sky just turned the darkest shade of grey... there will be thunder and lightning today.