Birthday Time

In less than 4 days I will turn 24. It's crazy that 10 years ago I was 14... When I look back at being 14 I remember how terrible I was. Don't get me wrong I have always been a "nice" person but I was in the midst of being a less than perfect person in society. I am not a huge fan of my past, who I was or what I used to do... You are supposed to embrace your past, enjoy the moments that were special and important. When I was 14 though, there was not many things all that wonderful I can remember. It was the time when I destroyed any hopes I had at having a normal high school experience and a normal story to tell my kids and grand kids. I will never be able to have that time back, I will never be able to get back the time I wasted and the times I should have been being productive. It's difficult to relive the past... I have thrown away many things I held dear to me, any form of memorabilia to somehow forget.


Depressing, yes.  Upsetting, a little. Something I regret, not as much as you would think. It took me 24 years to achieve what I have and who I am today. Things may have been different if I had done different things, but then I would not be who I am today. 


4 Things I have discovered to be important to know over the years:

• Families are ALWAYS insane. It does not matter what your family looks like in public, there was probably a time where something crazy happened. Something that is hidden deep down in some dark corner of the home you grew up in. Even if your family was "Picture Perfect" on the outside, there was some sort of dysfunction and it does not matter the scale of dysfunction either. What seems small to one person could be an incredible impact on another. My family was far from perfect, they still have quite a few issues... but I love them and they love me and we had to grit our teeth and bare it but we survived growing up, divorce, drug use, letters from jail, domestic violence, teen pregnancy, etc... I mean you name it... we've been through it. Yet sitting here thinking about it now... the storm has calmed and family life is good. Which brings me to my next bullet.
• What is important today, may not be tomorrow. Things fade. We grow, we change, we like things, we dislike things, we get heartbroken, we fall in love, we make friends, we lose friends... Life is change. So many things I once was fascinated with have faded into the background. Random fact - Once upon a time I wanted to be a Zoologist. I wanted to work with Grizzly Bears. At that time I thought I would not want to work with people. If only would I have known that customer service is one of my TOP favorite things in the working world. I get a adrenaline high from knowing I helped a customer above and beyond their expectations so much that I impacted their mood in a positive way... Grizzly Bears... although big and aggressive... do not care how awesome I treated them. They still would secretly want to kill me. 
• Relationships are hard (especially with those Grizzly Bears) but definitely can be worth it. I've spent 13 years out of 24 in a "serious" relationship. I still have much love for my exes but looking back I know none of them would have worked out the way it does with Chris. I always had some empty feeling... just something was not complete. Chris fills that relationship void. We definitely have our issue's but with him things are just easier to work out. It's like sitting on a teeter totter. We go up and down but are still able to meet in the middle.
• Treat others how you would want to be treated... without expecting anything back. Sometimes people are in a hard spot. Whether they are like me who screams, "Ahhhhh" all the time or simply a person who avoids "airing their dirty laundry" you never know what is going on behind closed doors. They could be smiling to your face but be completely depressed. So be a little bit nicer and you never know what an impact it may have.  

 I am happy with my life and how I live it. You know the past may have been crazy but it made me into the person I am today and I love who I am. I am looking forward to my birthday this year. Not for anything extravagant... but for the good times and the people who will be around me.