Bathtubs, Dreams, and Other things

So a dream I had more recently has been weirding me out. 

I was in a clawfoot bathtub, how I fit so perfectly I don't know. I was just laying there naked and underwater... my eyes were open and everything seemed murky but I could see my hair floating around my face. Nothing else. That was the whole dream but it seemed like it was ongoing.

I felt calm, I am not sure if I was breathing or not. I am not sure if I was drowning or not... I just know that nothing mattered. SO. I looked up the meaning...

To see or be in a bathtub in your dream suggests a need for self-renewal and escape from everyday problems. You need to rid yourself of the burdens that you have been carrying.  

To dream that you are underwater suggests that you are being overcome with emotions and are in over your head regarding some situation. You need to gain greater control of your life.  

To dream that you are breathing underwater represents a retreat back into the womb. You want to return to a state where you were dependent and free from responsibilities. Perhaps you are feeling helpless, unable to fulfill your own needs and to care for yourself. Alternatively, breathing underwater is analogous to being submerged in your own emotions. 

To see muddy [The water in my dream was murky .. like a cloudy white color] or dirty water in your dream indicates that you are wallowing in your negative emotions. You may need to take some time to cleanse your mind and find internal peace. Alternatively, the dream suggests that your thinking/judgment is unclear and clouded. If you are immersed in muddy water, then it indicates that you are in over your head in a situation and are overwhelmed by your emotions. 

To dream that you are naked denotes fear of being found out and exposed over your activities. You feel that you are being misjudged.

So from this dream analysis I currently am suffering from:

a need for self-renewal and escape from everyday problems

are being overcome with emotions and are in over your head regarding some situation.

want to return to a state where you were dependent and free from responsibilities. 

feeling helpless, unable to fulfill your own needs and to care for yourself.

wallowing in your negative emotions.

submerged in your own emotions. 

your thinking/judgment is unclear and clouded.

fear of being found out and exposed over your activities.

I need to: 

rid myself of the burdens that you have been carrying. 

gain greater control of my life.  

take some time to cleanse my mind and find internal peace.

Uhm. Wait what? Wasn't I just blogging about how uncontrollably happy I was? What the fuck has happened? A lot actually. Basically my mind is like a flood gate. I pin my flood gate shut and dump buckets of water [unhappy things] behind my flood gate. This can be at a slow pace or a shockingly increased rate depending on my current life conditions. So as I am throwing water behind the gate I forget about the water I have emptied there. It sits for days, for weeks, for months, and occasionally even years. Then on some random unexpected day... someone will pull the pin. Of course, they don't realize they pulled the pin... but it happens. Then all of a sudden I will become overwhelmed with all these past insecurities, questions, memories, feelings, doubts, etc... All those buckets of water come rushing out. So I spend some time floating in all these not so positive things... splashing about. Until at some point I either find a way to drain the water or start using my bucket to put it back behind the flood gate. 

Does that make sense? 

Pretty much a crazy way to explain how someone handles negative things. I mean it doesn't mean that my happiness is any less genuine... when I am happy I AM INSANELY HAPPY... I just want to laugh, frolic, and hug random people as much as I possibly can be allowed to without getting the police called on me. I seriously will LOVE life. Like... omgIamsohappybecauseofthebirdsandthebeesandIwanttosnuggleandblowbubblesanddancenakedunderthemoonlightwhilelisteningtothebreezeofahotsummernight kind of love. lol. This is how I normally feel. I like to feel good and I like others to feel good too.

But the underlying problem is that I do not handle negative situations in the proper way. It is a defense mechanism. I know it, you know it, we alllllllll know it. So now it comes down to how do I fix it? I was asked, "Well what's wrong Megan? What is the problem?"

I don't know what the problem is, is the problem. So basically the advice that the dream analysis is giving me has to be correct. But where the fuck do you start?